bertabahlah hati

Selagi kau masih bergantung harap dan 'attached' dgn manusia serta sekeliling, sampai bila2 pun kau tak pernah bahagia.

Hati kau perlukan Tuhan. Yang Maha Kuat untuk kau bergantung harapan dan kasih sayang.

Sebab Tuhan tak akan pergi ke mana2. Janjinya bukan palsu.

Dia akan sentiasa berada dekat dengan kau kiranya kau selalu ingatkan Dia.

Mak abah akan pergi juga satu hari nanti

Abang, kakak, adik pun sama.

Kawan2 pun tak selamanya ada di sisi.

Kalau semuanya tiada saat kau perlukan mereka, kau yang kecewa, sebab hati kau meletakkan pengharapan yang tinggi menggunung, pada manusia yang lemah, yang akan pergi jua satu hari nanti.

Walau banyak mana pun kasih sayang kau pada mereka, mereka akan pergi juga satu hari nanti.

Kau pun akan pergi juga satu hari nanti. Kembali kepada yang Maha Menyayangi, yang sentiasa ada di sisi.

Ingat pada Ilahi, kembali kepadaNya, bergantung haraplah pada Dia seorang. Bukan pada orang lain mahupun diri kau jua. 

Bila the ultimate source of dependent adalah Maha Hebat, hati pasti menjadi extra kuat! :)

mari bertapa ke gua

Dah lama menyepi. Aku bizi dengan tuntutan kerja yang tak habis-habis sampailah hari ni. Nasib baiklah weeken ni aku balik rumah.
I am home. My home sweet home. :)

Sejak dua menjak kebelakangan ni, kepala aku berpusing-pusing tentang apa yang aku nak buat lepas grad.

Honestly, dulu aku rasa I figured things out. But then, when I do my thesis project, I doubt myself whether this is what I want to do for the next at least 2 years after graduation.
Mungkin aku perlu bertapa lagi ke Grand Canyon dan mungkin Niagra Falls lepas ni.

Bila kawan aku punya cita-cita dan tampak determined dengan apa yang dia nak. I'm happy for them. Honestly, aku mula rasa tertekan dan kalau boleh mahu lari jauh-jauh. Aku tak mahu affected dengan impian dan cita-cita orang lain. Aku nak jadi diri aku, bahagia dan puas dengan decision sendiri. And I haven't found that yet.

I do have plans in my head. i do not want to tell anyone yet because I am not sure of myself pun.
I do like nutrition, i enjoy studying this course. However, I am not sure whether I'll be good at this thing.

Somehow, I know I can go far. I know I can. But not in this field i guess. Tapi aku sendiri tak pasti dimana.

Semoga Tuhan tunjukkan jalan dan permudahkan aku supaya nampak jalan. Sebab aku sangat ragu-ragu diri aku sendiri sekarang ni.

Earl Gray, Rain and Collide.

It's raining cats and dogs here in KL.

And here I am. Sitting in my own room, next to the window, typing out this post, while listening to my favorite Howie Day, Collide. With a mug of hot tea on the table.

This is nice. The feeling is nice.

I know I won't have the privilege to sit down and relax for the next couples of months. I was officially murdered by deadlines last night after I received an email containing my timetable for final semester of my undergrad study. I kept telling myself that I can make it, but only God knows how nerve wracking it is to know that I am sooo left behind compared to my friends who at least at 40-50% upon completing their thesis.

Not blaming anyone but only myself. Things got out of control and didn't go according to plan. And I can't find any reason to justify my situation right now.

Now, I'm trying so hard to keep telling myself that I can do this. Being positive is the least I can do for now.
Though I only have 20% left for optimism.

Shoot.

Seriously,shoot.






So, today, all I want to do is to live in this moment. Enjoying my tea, delay and forget all my worries for a while. At least until Monday.

Pray for me. Aku nak grad jugak weyhhhhh!

Ain't that kid anymore

Childhood has always been the greatest memory I've ever had. Bila adik beradik semua masih ada di rumah, sepanjang masa. Masa ramai-ramai bersempit masih tidur dalam satu bilik. Masa main Dash Yankuro sama-sama. Main hujan sama-sama. Masa kena pau dengan abang sendiri sebab kena bayar untuk baca komik Dragon Ball. Masa kena ejek sepanjang masa  kecik-kecik dengan Nurul. Masa 'Cengeng' was my second name. Haha.

Those good old time.

Then, things changed. We had our own ambitions. We went into separate ways. Schools, college, universities.
In other words, we grew up.

We no longer spend our precious time together that much. It wasn't so easy as we have our own lives.
One is now married. One is now having his own lives. Soon,  in the future, he'll have kids, and then it will be his turn to become an old man.

And we no longer be that kid anymore. Dah tak main hujan dengan awning rumah warna merah yang bocor dulu. Dah tak ada main seasonal games dekat taman, layang-layang, gasing, guli. When cyber pet took place, social interaction was murdered by technology. In the name of globalization.

And now, we grew up. We're reaching the age of 20's.
We have to think of assignments, workload, exams, and soon, we've to think about car, houses, spouses, kids.
Not fun stuff. Being adult is no fun at all.

Air dicincang takkan putus. With our own family pun kita akan go separate ways, ini kan pula dengan kawan2.
But hopefully, every now and then, mesti ada time with family. Always.


"we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why"




I pray for my inner state to finally be able to find peace and stability. Insya Allah. One fine day.

cerita lama

Dulu-dulu, masa sekolah SRA (sek rendah agama), ada seorang Ustazah ni. Ustazah Salina kalau tak salah. Seingat aku, dia mengajar khat masa aku darjah 1.Anyway, antara benda yang paling aku suka masa sekolah dulu ialah Ustazah Salina.

She's very soft spoken, lembut and the most important part was her story telling session.
Kalau kitorang dah siap salin khat, ustazah akan offer nak bagitau cerita.
Semua orang tertunggu-tunggu cerita ustazah. Termasuklah aku. Aku masih ingat melalui ustazah la aku dengar banyak kisah nabi Muhammad s.a.w.
Antara kisah Jibrail sampaikan wahyu, dan yang paling aku ingat sampai sekarang, kisah Israk Mikraj yang ustazah ceritakan.

Ditambah dengan subjek Sirah yang kitorang belajar masa sekolah since darjah 1.
Sejak kecil lagi dah belajar mengenal siapa Rasulullah s.a.w. Nanti dah besar kalau korang ada anak, silalah berbuat demikian, ye?

Post blog 'Cinta kepada lelaki ghaib' oleh Ustaz Hasrizal dalam blog beliau makes a lot of sense to me.
It's true. Kita punya pelakon2, pemain bola sepak, penyanyi pujaan yang duduk nun jauh seberang sana, cakaplah apa sahaja tentang nama penuh, anak bini, asal mana semua pun kita tahu. Jadi tak mustahil kita boleh sukakan orang yang tak pernah kita terpandang, dan berjumpa.

Jadi tak mustahil kita yang telah dididik sejak kecil mengenal kekasih Allah, Muhammad bin Abdullah.
Tak mustahil untuk rasa cinta boleh hadir untuk kasih dan rindukan Rasulullah s.a.w yang tak pernah kita jumpa.

Selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan nabi.

Semoga kita sentiasa mencontohi dan mengikut sunnah Rasulullah s.a.w.

Nasib baik ada TV Alhijrah sekarang. Baguslah, banyak input. :)

Back on track.

Bila Allah nak uji kan, senang je. Seminggu Dia berikan cuti yang bermakna untuk aku. Dan seminggu kemudian, Dia uji aku dengan musibah dan sakit. Ni baru sakit sikit, tak terbayang orang yang sakit kanser ke ataupun sakit2 kronik yang lain.

Masya Allah, kuasa Allah. Tak siapa dapat halang.

I've never been this sick before. But one should never complain when one fall sick.So, I should never complain. Allah turunkan sakit sebab Dia sayangkan aku, :) How cool is that.

Alhamdulillah, I'm feeling better now.

Hoping to get back on track now, settlekan benda yang delayed, one thing at a time.

For my dear family who's always there for me, taking care of me, I have nothing but  thank you. Cuma Allah saja dapat balas jasa.

Dear friends, thanks for your dua'. May Allah bless you too.

 Health is wealth.

My raison d'être

Kemaman was great. I spent 6 days of a laid back, self-reflecting, and stress-free vacation.

I never thought these last 6 days could at least change my life's perspectives in so many ways. 

And discover my own  raison d'être.

I think I finally know what I want to do with my life. I think so. Yeah.

And I shall just keep it to myself and hoping that these changes will do me good.

May Allah give me strength. 

Change is a lot easier said than done.  

Insya Allah.

Hello 2012!

This is the first post of 2012.

For the past few days, I have been thinking on what post should it be like for new year. New resolutions, regrets, worst and best of 2011?

Nasib baik Facebook has came up with this Timeline thingy. Bila tengok balik past status updates dekat facebook two years ago, rasa macam sangat tak matang, childish and malu gila. Haha.

Tapi itulah bukti aku dah semakin matang. Dah besar2 ni, tak delah nak merepek sangat kat fb, unless necessary. Nak delete sebab malu tapi takpelah, itulah bukti kau dah membesar. Haha.

Kawan aku tanya, what will be your best of 2011?
First thing that came across my mind was Along's wedding.

Worst of 2011?
Tak ada kot.

Most regret?
...........................

Anyway,

Happy new year. Semoga tahun ni lebih baik daripada sebelumnya :)